30 days ago today I embarked on a mission. Thirty days of celibacy, thirty days of concentrating on me. It seemed easy at first, and then I met someone who threw the whole thing for a loop. It's easy to be celibate when no one's interested in you. I could have stopped it right there. But I didn't. Partly because he wouldn't let me, and my best friends would not hear a word of it either.
Everyone pulled for me to complete this and I want to say a big THANK YOU for all the support I got! It really helped me out to think that people cared about what I had to say.
What did I learn? Well, I truly learned that it's okay to go to bed by yourself at night- to spend evenings alone- to go get a drink by myself. I learned that the perfect guy isn't always there on your timing, but that doesn't mean you should waste your time with the ones that don't treat you right.
And finally, I realized that you shouldn't compromise yourself for any reason, especially a significant other. You should find someone that likes the real, honest YOU- not the YOU that is a front.
If you do all those things, you may just find someone who makes you happy.
Officially, today is the end of the celibacy... but we aren't rushing. We're doing this right.. and building a relationship out of friendship and love, before we even introduce the physical aspects.
This... is what it should look like :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Nearing the end....
My month of celibacy is nearing a close... and my oh my, are we at a different place than we were only 30 days ago...
I gave A a second chance after a long talk about ambition. He told me that I was his wake up call and that he wants to change his life- for himself, not for me. That was Tuesday night. Since I got home Wednesday, we have seen each other every day since then.
In the beginning of a relationship, one does not want to seem overbearing. So usually, we let little common annoyances just slide by, not mentioning them. Well, they dont get better, trust me. Is that where we go wrong? We allow it in the beginning- and then decide later that we cant handle it?
Tonight, an interesting thing happened. Interesing = Awkward. A told me that he would be out of town tonight, and I mentioned that I was going to hang out with my ex, Richard- who happens to be a really really good friend. I was upfront and honest with A. I told him that we were hanging out and that I would probably also be attending our (A and I's) mutual friend's party. So imagine my surprise, when I show up at the party with Richard- and A is there. I was forced to introduce them, and in my opinion, I look like a scandalous ho that the guy I'm seeing is out of town and I'm taking my ex to parties. A made a quick exit- after insisting he wasn't upset. It sure seemed that way. He didn't mention when he'd call (although, he never sticks to that anyway), or IF he would call- or when I would see him again.
In my opinion, A could have had the balls to call me and say he was in town but hanging out with his friends- which would have been totally cool. Instead, it looked like he lied- (he insists that his plans just "changed".) A introduced me to his friend, who was anything but warm to meeting me.
These little things- like not calling- or expecting me to track him down when he's not where he says he will be- these are little things, but hell- if I settle for them now, I will have to do it for as long as we are together. And honestly, I'm not willing to settle for something- or someone- that's already irritating me 3 weeks in.
To be continued, I suppose...
I gave A a second chance after a long talk about ambition. He told me that I was his wake up call and that he wants to change his life- for himself, not for me. That was Tuesday night. Since I got home Wednesday, we have seen each other every day since then.
In the beginning of a relationship, one does not want to seem overbearing. So usually, we let little common annoyances just slide by, not mentioning them. Well, they dont get better, trust me. Is that where we go wrong? We allow it in the beginning- and then decide later that we cant handle it?
Tonight, an interesting thing happened. Interesing = Awkward. A told me that he would be out of town tonight, and I mentioned that I was going to hang out with my ex, Richard- who happens to be a really really good friend. I was upfront and honest with A. I told him that we were hanging out and that I would probably also be attending our (A and I's) mutual friend's party. So imagine my surprise, when I show up at the party with Richard- and A is there. I was forced to introduce them, and in my opinion, I look like a scandalous ho that the guy I'm seeing is out of town and I'm taking my ex to parties. A made a quick exit- after insisting he wasn't upset. It sure seemed that way. He didn't mention when he'd call (although, he never sticks to that anyway), or IF he would call- or when I would see him again.
In my opinion, A could have had the balls to call me and say he was in town but hanging out with his friends- which would have been totally cool. Instead, it looked like he lied- (he insists that his plans just "changed".) A introduced me to his friend, who was anything but warm to meeting me.
These little things- like not calling- or expecting me to track him down when he's not where he says he will be- these are little things, but hell- if I settle for them now, I will have to do it for as long as we are together. And honestly, I'm not willing to settle for something- or someone- that's already irritating me 3 weeks in.
To be continued, I suppose...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
