On the Fifth Day, Laylan was bummed.

Today was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I worked all day on a Father's Day gift for my dad and it just didn't turn out as planned.

I finally got an appointment with KU Med's Cancer Center about the lump in my breast, and we have an ultrasound and mammogram scheduled for Tuesday. That is an ordeal in and of itself. I had about three or four people that said they would take me and then for many reasons, all ended up not being able to take me. I'm not upset about it, I mean, things happen. It's just frustrating. I didn't ask my mother to come up from the lake because I don't want to worry her even more about this. But, after the fourth person cancelled on me, she made the decision that she was coming, and quickly closed that discussion.

Here's something that really really irks me- don't say, "Everything's going to be fine." to someone in my situation. Why not, you ask? Because saying that belittles the person's worry- it makes them think that they're overreacting, that you aren't taking this health risk seriously. It's obviously important to them. Secondly, in some weird twist of psychology, it seems that when you tell someone that phrase, it will magically be some self fulfilling prophecy. Guess what. If I'm breeding cancer inside me right now, your cavalier statement about things being fine will just irritate me more. I'm already worried. So if you want to say, "You'll be in my thoughts/prayers", that's one thing. If you want to take the route my mother has taken, which is, "We'll get through it no matter what", I would appreciate it. Just don't say, "everythings going to be fine". And when things are fine, dont say, "see? told you so". that pisses me off even more.

Goodnight.